[Dub Pack] How you comin' on that novel, huh?

Ah, Brian, I can't believe you're gonna be on The Bachelorette!

Yeah, I thought you said those shows were stupid.

They are stupid. But I figured I got a few days of free booze and free food before they kick me off. I could use a vacation.

Oh, yes, 'cause you got such a heavy workload around here! Hm...

(inhale) How you, uh... how you comin' on that novel... you're workin' on, eh?

Got a big, uh... big stack of papers there. Got a- got a.. got a nice little.. nice little story you workin' on there. The bi-big, eh.. novel

(inhale) you've been working on for three years, eh? (inhale)

Got a... got a compelling protagonist, eh? Got a-na- got a obstacle for him to overcome, eh? (inhale)

Little story brewing there? Working on? Working on that for quite some time, eh?

(inhale) Yeah, talking about that three years ago, yeah? Been workin' on that the whole time? (inhale)

Nice little, uh... narrative? A beginning, middle and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends, yeah?

At the end your, uh... main character is, uh.. richer for the experience, yeah? Yeah?

(inhale) Yeah? You got a- no, no, you-you deserve some time off.

She told me she loved me... on what used to be a hit TV show.

God, I-I... I can't believe I got sucked into that phony reality world just like everyone else. I became the very thing I was mocking.

Oh, I know it hurts now, Brian. But, look at the bright side.

You have some new material for that novel you've been writing. ...You know. That... novel you've been working on.

You know, the-the one, uh... you've been working on for three years.

You know, the...the novel. You... (inhale) got.. something new to write about now. You know?

Maybe, uh... (inhale) maybe your main character gets into a relationship?

Then, suffers a little heartbreak? (inhale) Something like, uh. What... what you've been... you've just been through?

Draw from a... real life experience? (inhale) Little, uh... Little heartbreak? You know? Work it into the story?

Make those... characters a little more three-dimensional? Little, uh... richer experience for the reader?

Make those... second hundred pages really.. keep the reader guessing what's going to happen? Some twist and turns? Little epilogue?

Everybody learns the hero's journey isn't always a happy one? Ah, I look forward to reading it.

Brian, I read your article in The Daily Shopper, it was wonderful!

Eh, don't oversell it, Lois.

No, it was good! It almost felt like it was written by a real writer.

I read your article too, Brian. Seems to me you should spend less time working for the paper and more time workin' on that novel you've been workin' on. You know, the- AH!