Ted Fights God

Dral’hul moves steadily closer. What do you do?

I attack you!

What?

You heard me, I attack you.

You can’t. The Dungeon Master is God.

Fine, I attack God.

That would be like attacking a thousand Dral’huls. Only a madman would do that.

♪ Pizza in the morning ♪ ♪ Pizza in the evening ♪ ♪ Pizza at suppertime ♪

That’s a critical hit. Uh… I take six points of damage.

I attack again.

Well, just– I-I don’t know if you, uh… Oh, my God, another nat 20. Uh… I take ten additional points of damage.

Come on, you got this!

Come on, buddy. Fuck him up.

I harness all my strength, preparing a death blow. Is a one good?

[laughs] No, no, no, no, no.

Well, there it goes. We’re all dead.